It’s back to work, grumpy people!

I wanted to buy some hiking socks. At the first sporting goods store I went to I was quietly regarding the racks, when a staff member came by, snorted, and said:

“Why would you want to buy those socks? These are the ones you should be looking at,” pointing to ones costing three times more per pair.

I said I’d been happy with a certain combo of layered liner and thick socks for over 40 years of hiking. That didn’t deter his disdain, or his prattle, so I walked out.

The next store I went to, it was clear sailing until the end. Nobody approached me, I had quiet time to myself to peruse the labels, checking the proportions of poly to wool to whatever. . . Bliss.

Then — accosted at the checkout. “Sir, if you sign up for Partner Credit Card today, I can give you 20% off your entire purchase.”

“I don’t want any more credit cards, and anyway, I have this 10% discount coupon which will do me just fine.”

“But sir, I can issue a paper credit card right now, which you can use to get 20% off. . .”

“What’s a paper credit card? How do I pay it off?”

“We’ll send you a bill in the mail, or you can go straight over to Partner Store, and pay it today.”

Right, sucked further into Database Nation. No thanks.

“But sir!”

“I said, no thanks.” Poor kid slumps away, and checkout clerk glares at me.

After these wee contretemps, I’m feeling hungry, and notice a Subway nearby. I walk in, and say “I’d like a footlong turkey on Italian.”

“What kind of bread?” Italian. “How large?” Footlong. “Was that turkey?” Yes. [Silently to myself — Earth to counter person??]

Another fellow walks in.

“Hi!” says the cashier cheerfully.

He says, “I’d like a. . .”

“Sorry, sir, you have to start your order from the other end of the counter.”

“So why did you say hi to me at this end?”

Oy. . .